Sunday, June 26, 2011 9:42 am
So last night went amazingly! Zack took me to a sub shop down the road and we got sandwiches and cookies, then went to the park and ate on blanket. When we were done eating, we layed under the stars for a long time. We just layed there and snuggled, me in his warm arms, under a blanket. Last night was amazing!
When he thought we should go home, we packed up the stuff. On the way back to our little house, i sat under the blanket right next to him. (He has a really old truck with a bench seat so I can literally sit right next to him.)
When we got home, we went to bed. When I say we went to bed I mean we went to our room, got in pajamas, and slept through the night. We have never had sex. He won't do it yet, cause he doesn't think I'm old enough. I just think he's afraid of my father. We argue about it all the time until he makes a good enough point that will shut me up.
Well it was amazing and thats all I can say about it, not enough words to describe how nice it was.
I heard Zack coming in so I ran downstairs. He has been on patrol, either during the night or really early in the morning, so I don't get to see him before he leaves. His huge, gorgeous body walked through the kitchen door. I ran to him and hugged him. Then we kissed, which is so overwhelming that it is hard to think, but so nice. I never want to pull away!
He pulls away and says, "Good morning, beautiful"
"Good morning! How is the pack?," I say, pulling away so that I can make breakfast.
"Same as always. Stubborn and cranky. We picked up a vampire scent, just south of Overlook. We went far today, covered the whole perimeter of the city and farther than that. But the scent was old,so I don't think it was very recent."
"Oh, well thats good. Don't want any vampires moving in and making more werewolves, now do we?"
"It would be a nice change," he says, coming over and hugging my waist while I'm at the sink.
I dry my hands and turn around and kiss him. Locking my arms around his neck, he picks me up and walks me over to the couch. We sit down and he looks at me and says," You know I won't do it yet so just don't make it any more difficult than it already is for me."
" Why won't you do it with me? Is it that you don't want to? Cause you can tell me? And don't use that bull about how I'm too young."
"You are too young and I want to be married first."
"Oh, okay," I say looking down, trying to look sad to make him feel bad.
" But that doesn't mean we can't kiss."
He pulls me in for another kiss. This one lasts much longer so that we are all over each other and laying on the couch, completely entwined. I look into his eyes for a second and see how hard it is for him, to not do just the one little thing that I ask of.
I pull away, look at him and say, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm so difficult and selfish. I haven't realized until now how hard this is on you, to try and keep a tradition when I'm trying to find reasons and ways how to. I'm just....... I'm sorry."
And I sit there realizing that I have the most perfect man in the world and here I am putting him in pain and guilt and asking him to do something he's not ready for.
He looks at me with his big beautiful eyes and says," What are you apologizing for? I don't mind, it just gets hard sometimes to refuse you. Cause I love you so much and then I feel bad when I say no."
"Well it's my fault, you shouldn't feel bad about anything! "
"But I do anyways," he gets off of me me, pulls me up and says," Do you want some help with breakfast? I could manage something. You just tell me what to do."
We went back to the kitchen and I show him how to make bacon. I put some on the plate, then put a paper towel on top and put another layer of bacon on that. Then I tell him how long to microwave and to get the next batch ready. He got the hang of it and then when the bacon was done, he helped with the pancakes. It is fun cooking with him and spending time together. And not constantly kissing, only once in a while.
When we were done cooking and eating I turned and said, " Thank you for helping. That was fun, we don't do alot of stuff like that together." And of course I kissed him.
"It was fun. I didn't think I would like cooking, but it's fun with you", he said after he kissed me back.
"Why? Just cause your a guy? Because some of the best chefs in the world are guys."
"I don't know why. I just know that I like cooking with you."
I could hear my parents coming so I kissed Zack lightly on the lips and finished cleaning up before they came in.
They knocked but didn't bother waiting for someone to get the door for them, everyone in my family does that. They just barge in like it's their house they are walking into.
"Good Morning. It's beautiful outside, do you guys want to go hunt?" My mother looks at me, my arm wrapped around Zacks back and then looks at my father.
"They already ate," He says while he stares down Zack.
"Hey it was my idea, I knew Zack was coming home this morning, sometime early, so I made breakfast. But I could still go hunting if Zack doesn't mind," I said, looking up at him.
It would be a good chance for him to get some rest, he's working on 12 hours of sleep from two nights ago. Zack only gets a few hours a day and Jack has been putting him on night shifts. As soon as I thought this, I immediately felt guilty for spending time with him that he could have had sleeping. I looked up at him with sad eyes and he looked at me worriedly.
"What's the matter?" he said turning me around to look at him.
"I just feel bad now because I realized you haven't really gotten any sleep in the last couple of days. Jack has kept you up patroling and I have kept you up just so I could spend time with you, when you really should be sleeping."
"I don't mind that much. I'm not really that tired."
My father looked at him then me and said," Of course he's tired. He can barely keep his eyes open."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I will go hunting with my parents and you get some rest. I won't wake when I get back unless I need you. And we might be gone for a long time. No exceptions. I love you." I say this all then reach up, give him a kiss and walk out the door with my parents right behind me. My mother likes Zack so she says good-bye first.
We walk into the woods, and I start tearing up. My mom looks at me and says, "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
I look down and say, "I am such a horrible girlfriend. I keep him from sleeping and I have just done other rude things recently. I just feel horrible about it because I haven't realized until now what horrible tings I have done."
"Honey your not horrible. Your just in love. I was like that when I was with your father, I didn't realize the things I was doing until after I had started doing them. But you have to control yourself."
My father looks at me and says,"What kind of horrible things have you done to him."
I think about what I said to him and asked him to do and replay it in my mind. My father looks at me in horror and then he stomps of in the direction of my house.