“I don’t need to go, I can stay.”
“I miss you already.”
It was hard for me to keep my attention whenever we kiss but Carlisle believes in me too much. A trust I didn’t deserve. She sighed when I pulled away and her warm breath brushed through me so warm and it immediately felt like I was inhaling flames.
It was not that hard anymore, before it was hard to be even an inch beside her but now it was easy to keep up but her blood still sent a thousand flames right through my throat but I’m already past the temptation.
She pulled my face to her again and we kissed.
A moment later,
“Definitely staying,” I murmured.
“No, no. It’s your bachelor party. You have to go.” She said those words but I felt her hand locked into my hair, and her other hand pressed tighter against my back and I stroked her face in response as much as she hates being separated from me, it was worse for me.
“Bachelor Parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn’t be more eager to have mine behind me. So there’s really no point.” I said.
“True.” She said against my throat.
I hope Jasper and Em won’t come any more and disturb this moment. I can hear Charlie’s snores and he was just in the other side. I see that he’s dreaming of fish and a scent of wolf came with him-Billy Black. I wonder if I was so distracted that I didn’t realize Charlie coming, what then will be his reaction? I felt Bella’s hand run through my chest and I kissed her again… She let her tongue explore for a while and I just let her go for awhile but I felt my control slipping so I let go but then…
“Wait!” she said, she gripped my shoulders and hugged herself to me tightly. She kicked one leg free and wrapped it around my waist. “Practice makes perfect.” She added.
She’s really determined with her compromise so I suppressed a chuckle. “Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point then, shouldn’t we? Have you slept all in the last month?
“But this is the dress rehearsal,” She said with a hint of worry—maybe? —In her voice, “and we’ve only practiced certain scenes. It’s no time for playing safe.”
She was right, there’s not even anything that would make this safe. I know that practice wouldn’t help in our altering moods. What if I hurt her? Or worse, what if I kill her?
“Bella . . . ,” I started with a whisper.
“Don’t start this again,” she said. “A deal’s a deal.”
“I don’t know. It’s too hard to concentrate when you’re with me like this. I—I can’t think straight. I won’t be able to control myself. You’ll get hurt.” I said, it was completely oblivious to be this vulnerable.
“I’ll be fine.” She insisted.
“Bella . . .” hoping to persuade her with this.
“Shh!” She pressed her lips to mine, which stopped me from talking. What if I didn’t control myself? She’s so fragile, like any other human. She flirted with death and death seemed be connected with her. But the difference is that, the one who wanted to save her from near-death experiences was the one who was delivering it to her.
I can’t talk this out anymore, I have to try and try hard to concentrate. Ugh! There must be a way. When I pulled away I saw in her eyes that she was thinking about something ..
Then to distract her I asked, “How are your feet?”
“Toasty Warm,” It worked thought but what if she has second thoughts about the wedding? I had to ask.
“Really? No second thoughts? It’s not too late to change your mind.”
“Are you trying to ditch me?” she asked, offended and it was amusing to see her like that, that I laughed at her.
“Just making sure. I don’t want you to do anything you’re not sure about.”
“I’m sure about you. The rest I can live through.”
This was not right, it wasn’t right that she was giving up things because of me. Will she take the anxiety of not being able to see Charlie for some years? Or be contented with phone calls and just that for Renée?
“Can you?” I asked. “I don’t mean the wedding—which I’m positive that you will survive despite your qualms—but afterward . . .what about Renée, what about Charlie?
She sighed and again her warm breath washed over me and I was able to ignore it. I’m waiting for her answer.
“I’ll miss them.”
“Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike.”
“I’ll miss my friends too.” Then she smiled, “Especially Mike. Oh, Mike! How will I go on?”
I have to growl, I’m still not fond of Mike and it was worst when she told me that but I know that she was only teasing.
She laughed. “Edward, we’ve been through this and through this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me.”
Well, I did say I will give everything that she wants and she wants it and Her lifetime is also not enough for me too.
“Frozen forever at eighteen.” I said.
“Every woman’s dream come true,” she said but there was a teasing tone to her words.
I remember that time when we told Charlie that we were getting married and he thought that Bella’s pregnant. WHY can’t we have that ability? What if Bella wanted a daughter/son too? So I said. . .
“Never changing . . . never moving forward.”
“What does that mean?” she asked.
I answered slowly for her to get this… “Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he though you were . . . pregnant?
“And he thought about shooting you?” she said and laughed “Admit it—for one second he honestly considered it.”
Yes, he did thought of shooting me but that would freak him out if he saw the crumpled bullet and me unwounded. Why can’t I be a human groom?
“What, Edward?” she asked, worried about my silence.
“I just wish . . . well, I wish that he’d been right.”
“Gah!” she gasped. Shocked.
“More that there was some way he could have been. That we had that kind of potential. I hate taking that away from you too.” though she made certain that she could live or rather exist without kids. Yet it wasn’t fair. I’m not losing anything but she has a lot to sacrifice because of me. And I didn’t want that.
It took her a minute to deliberate. “I know what I’m doing.”
Of course she does. “How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother”—though Esme thinks of us as her children, yet she killed herself because of her baby who died—“look at my sister. It’s not easy as a sacrifice as you imagine.
“Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it’s a problem later, we can do what Esme did—we’ll adopt.”
No! This is not right. I answered her and my voice showed evidence of my anger. “It’s not right! I don’t want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don’t wan to steal your future. I f I were human—“
She placed her hand on my lips and said, “You are my future. Now sop. No moping, or I’m calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you need a bachelor party.”
I don’t want to leave her. I’m glad Emmett and Jasper are not here yet. “I’m sorry. I am moping, aren’t I? Must be the nerves.”
“Are your feet cold?” She asked.
"Not in that sense. I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the one thing I can't wait – "
Get down here now! You promised! Emmett thought!
"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!"
“What’s wrong?” Bella asked. WRONG is an understatement for those two antagonists!
I gritted my teeth so hard that maybe Bella can hear them already. "You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight."
I was about to stand up of the bed when I felt Bella’s strength pulling me closer to her but then she changed her mind and let me go but of course, I wouldn’t argue with her. If it weren’t for Emmett, I’d ditch that Bachelor Party and in synchronization to that thought Emett kept shouting Come down already!
I tried as hard to tone him down so I can still concentrate on what will Bella say.
“Have fun.” She simply said but the hint of sadness was in here tone.
Then, Emmett’s impatient reigned in and he scratched his nails on the wall of Bella’s house and I saw Bella shudder.
"If you don't send Edward out," Emmett said in the night, breaking the silence "we're coming in after him!" and pull him right out of whatever you guys are doing that can’t wait until the honeymoon Emmett added in his thoughts.
“Go.” Bella was laughing now, like she heard what Emmett added, “Before they break my house.”
I stood up and wore my shirt that I left on the floor, kissed the top of her forehead and inhaled her scent.
“Go to sleep, you’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
"Thanks! That's sure to help me wind down."
"I'll meet you at the altar." I said
"I’ll be the one in white." She smiled and I laughed in response.
"Very convincing," Unwillingly, I left Bella. I didn’t want Emmett continuously scraping his nails on the wall. It will wake Charlie.
When I landed on solid land Emmett still kept on cursing but then I heard Bella say. “You’d better not make him late.”
I looked at Jasper and he said, Let me talk to the bride-to-be and vampire-to-be.
I nodded and he crept silently to the tree, in no time at all he was already talking to Bella.
"Don't worry, Bella. We'll get him home in plenty of time." Jasper was assuring Bella and I felt a huge wave of calmness spread through Bella’s room and me.
I heard movement on Bella’s bed, “"Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?" Ha ha! I was imagining us three on a strip club and Bella rushing in! Ha ha.
Before Jasper could even answer Bella’s query, Emmett said with a growl, "Don't tell her anything!" and I mock-punch him on his shoulder and I just laughed at him quietly.
"Relax," Jasper told her and I felt the calmness again. "We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out."
I wonder how Bella will hunt on her first day? Hmm.
“Thanks Jasper.” Bella said. Jasper winked and jumped off the tree.