Me and grandma was in the car on our way to her house and my new, unknown home also. I was not enjoying the ride because the farther i went in the car with grandma the farther i was from my mother. I was looking out the window when grandma told me if i could change the radio station. Knowing i would be in trouble if i didn't, i did what she told me to do and asked her, "yea, sure, grandma. Got a specific station you want?" Grandma thinks for a minute and tells me i can just choose one. I turned the radio station and found myself on a station that was palying a song my mother loved and it was "Satellite Heart" by Ayna Maria. I turned it up and I could not help but smile a little. Grandma looks at me sideways and asks what i was smilling about. "This was moms favorite song. When ever it came on the radio she would blast the song so loud i thought people in china could hear it. She loved this song so much i bought her the cd with that song on it and it was the only music she would listen to for three weeks untill i told her that she had to find something else because i couldn't stand listening to the same song over and over again. I told her i could still hear it in my dreams and when i was daydreaming i would sing that song. She said i sang it better and wanted me to persue that. That was my chance to finally change the song in the house cuase she wanted to hear me sing." I sighed and grandma took one hand off the wheel and held my hand that was close to her. "Everything is going to be ok now. You dont worry mar-mar. I enrolled you at a good school. You will like the school thats close to home and the book store is not that great but its still a book store." I knew grandma was putting the book store part in there to butter me up. "Grandma, I know you are trying to cheer me up but I don't think anything in this world will make me whole again. It's been three months since mom past away and I can't help but think this is a bad dream and I am going to wake up and everything is back to normal and mom would hug me and hold me tight like she always does.But that will never happen."
Grandma started to look a little worried but I saw her and I told her I was just fine and that I was going to take a nap in the back seat. "ok mar-mar, but you just be careful because I haven't cleaned out the back seat yet." I looked back there and it was a mess but I knew I could make some room. "I think I can find a spot in there somewhere." A few minutes later I was just getting settled in the back seat when grandma pulled over to help me. "Here you go mar-mar," She handed me a black furry balnket with a wolf howling at the moon in the background."This was my favorite blanket when your grandfather gave it to me before he past away. Take care of it and I'll let you use it while your living with me." I looked at her and nodded and said thank you before I went to sleep. The last thing I remember before waking up again was the car door shutting and grandma driving the car. When I woke up I saw a beautiful palce that even a fairytale princess would dream of having. It might be a lot smaller than the fairytale princess would dream of having, but I thought it was beautiful just the way it was. I get to sit up when I see grandma going into the house with my boxes of stuff. A few minutes later she comes out with a huge smile and walkes over to my door and I get out. I just stared at her and then at the house. "Ha HA HA!! oh little mar-mar you crack me up sometimes. Well what do you think of your new home?" I look at the little place and I consider how my mother ever thought of leaving it. It was a log home but it was painted a red color and the windows were tiny but big enough to suit anyone. the roof was black and the front door was made of solid woodand it was left with no color, sort of nude I guess you coluld say. I looked at grandma after my long debate and just smiled. Mabey my life would turn out to being better later in life, but as for now I still needed someting in my life that was gone and it will take a long while before I can get over what had happened. "Come on little mar-mar, come and see your room I picked out for you." I took one last looka t the outside of the house before telling grandma O.K. This sad, empty life of mine was going to get better eventually, but in the meantime, its time to continue in my journey of griveing for my mother.