Emotions.
Right now, at this point in time I am many emotions.
Angry, excited, restless, loved, confused, stressed, ugly, composed, argumentative and sad.
I’m angry because the people who I thought were my best friends and would always be there for me have just ridiculed me in a conversation on msn.
I’m excited because its Friday and I’ve got plans for every single day of the weekend. Plus I’m off school on Monday. Twilight day maybe? Also, in a few hours me and Nicola are going to the cinema. I look forward to these weekly cinema trips all week.
I’m restless for many reasons. Mainly because I need to get ready for going to the cinema tonight, even though I’m not leaving for a while yet. Also because I want to scream at the top of my lungs. A feeling I always constantly have, an unwanted companion of mines.
I feel loved because all of my true friends are going mental about the whole Craig, Gary, Dean and Callum conversation. There all standing by me. Something I really need right now.
I’m confused because, well, life is generally confusing. Well my life is confusing anyway…
I’m stressed because my English folio is due in at the end of this month. I need a one. This is the only subject I’m guaranteed a one in. That I need a one in. That I want a one in.
I feel ugly because, well, when you get called ugly. You generally start to feel ugly.
I’m feeling composed because I’m keeping myself together. Even though I want to scream into a pillow right now, or better yet, smack people in the face, I’m not. I’m breathing.
I feel argumentative because if anyone says anything cheeky to me or looks at me in a condescending way I will happily rip there heads off…with arguments. Of course.
I’m sad because right now, my life is spiralling at 100 miles per hour into a pit of unhappiness and depression. Too many changes are happening and I hate it. Why can’t life just stop. For one second. And in that second I can decide what it is that’s missing in my life, decide what I want to do with my life. If that’s even possible to do in one second…
So basically, I hold too many emotions for one 15 year old girl. I’m like a ticking bomb. Ready to explode at any minute. That’s probably why people don’t get very close to me. And if they do, they’ve got issues.
Megan Cullen. xxx
Angry, excited, restless, loved, confused, stressed, ugly, composed, argumentative and sad.
I’m angry because the people who I thought were my best friends and would always be there for me have just ridiculed me in a conversation on msn.
I’m excited because its Friday and I’ve got plans for every single day of the weekend. Plus I’m off school on Monday. Twilight day maybe? Also, in a few hours me and Nicola are going to the cinema. I look forward to these weekly cinema trips all week.
I’m restless for many reasons. Mainly because I need to get ready for going to the cinema tonight, even though I’m not leaving for a while yet. Also because I want to scream at the top of my lungs. A feeling I always constantly have, an unwanted companion of mines.
I feel loved because all of my true friends are going mental about the whole Craig, Gary, Dean and Callum conversation. There all standing by me. Something I really need right now.
I’m confused because, well, life is generally confusing. Well my life is confusing anyway…
I’m stressed because my English folio is due in at the end of this month. I need a one. This is the only subject I’m guaranteed a one in. That I need a one in. That I want a one in.
I feel ugly because, well, when you get called ugly. You generally start to feel ugly.
I’m feeling composed because I’m keeping myself together. Even though I want to scream into a pillow right now, or better yet, smack people in the face, I’m not. I’m breathing.
I feel argumentative because if anyone says anything cheeky to me or looks at me in a condescending way I will happily rip there heads off…with arguments. Of course.
I’m sad because right now, my life is spiralling at 100 miles per hour into a pit of unhappiness and depression. Too many changes are happening and I hate it. Why can’t life just stop. For one second. And in that second I can decide what it is that’s missing in my life, decide what I want to do with my life. If that’s even possible to do in one second…
So basically, I hold too many emotions for one 15 year old girl. I’m like a ticking bomb. Ready to explode at any minute. That’s probably why people don’t get very close to me. And if they do, they’ve got issues.
Megan Cullen. xxx
Comment
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Comment by Megan Cullen on February 16, 2009 at 12:44pm -
thanks so much for your comments guys! they mean a lot! xo xo xo
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Comment by Angel on February 15, 2009 at 8:52pm -
Hi Megan! I want to say i know how you feel but i hate when someone says that to me because in reality they dont, everyone takes things different so they feel different. I can say 15 is a very hard time i remember i use to feel like even though i had alot of friends i was alone anyway, I also wont tell you it gets better because it doesnt it only get harder but as you go through life you learn to take hits and give them back twice as hard so then at the end of the day everything doesnt seem so bad. Unhappiness and depression were my constant companions and at times still are but you have to find what truely makes you happy and just go for it no matter what anyone else thinks! I use to worry so much about what would make everyone else happy an never did anyone ever return the concern but in the end when i took a step back and looked everything over i realize they never returned the concern because they never knew how unhappy i really was i was/am so ashamed of how i felt/feel at times i never let anyone really see me i always needed them to think i was ok. My best advice is you need to realize what it is that makes you feel so lost and how you can work around finding a new path, it doesnt matter what people think only what you do, YOU ARE STRONG AND BRAVE and i can say this even though i dont kno you because you were able to offer up your feeling to anyone who could understand and believe me when i say everyone has issues some just chose to hide it in order to make their lives look normal. Who wants to be Normal? an you can't figure out what you want to do with the rest of you life in a second, a month, or even years you have to relax, laugh, cry, and scream until you can not do it anymore and when you are utterly exhausted in that moment you will realize you don't always have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. For what it is worth I think you are beautiful even though i don't know you or have ever seen you I think you are beauitful.
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