I stand here looking at you, and you looking at me.
What I see is a person who's confused.
What I see is someone who's caught up within something not good.
What I see is someone wanting to run away.
What I see is someone who's caught up in money.
And what I see is my Mother.
I stand, looking at you...
You beg for money from me.
You say you love me.
You say you live your life for me and yourself.
I say nothing, wondering if your telling the truth or just telling lies to make yourself feel better.
I see my mother, but I don't want to go near her.
I stand here and your near.
I stand and you're right next to me.
I stand here alone even if you're right there.
Even if you're near... to me it seems you're miles away.
I stand here looking at my mother, wanting to tell her these things I think about her.
I stand here confused.
I stand here having two sides of me.
I stand here, wondering which side she knows of me.
"Does she even know me?"
This is the question I've wondered all along.
I stand her looking at my Mother.
Who may never know what I think about her.
I stand here, wondering what she'll do when she knows.
Will she cry?
Will she get Mad? Or Sad?
I don't know...
I really don't know...
With this hand I will let go of this red ribbon.
Letting go of something that I’d always kept with me.
I still don't know why I held it so dear to me for so long.
This hand holding this ribbon one last time, until I let it go
On this mountaintop. Letting it blow softly in the ice-cold breeze.
Red for the pain in my heart that was sometimes made by you.
Red for how the warm blood falls from my arm,
While the tears in my eyes fall down my cold face.
With this hand I will let go of my sorrow.
A red ribbon that I want to hold a moment more.
I loosen my grip and as I do some tears fall from my eyes.
Not tears of sorrow nor happiness, but relief.
Relief of you from my life.
I can now breathe easy without you on my mind every second of the day.
With my own hand I now can let go of this sorrow of pain in my life.
Good-Bye... to this Red Ribbon of sorrows…
Tear of Death
I hear the arguing behind my door. On the other side is Hell.
With Hell you may picture flames or total darkness.
But this Hell is my Hell.
With no comfort, No peace, No family, No love. Just nothing, but Hell.
With all this happening I take this ice cold blade to my wrist.
One for every day I have to hear this. Starting today.
I vow to myself that whenever this Hell appears I will add to my "collection" of scars.
I will not let them heal.
I will forever have, at least one mark.
I clench my hand into a fist around the blade.
The blood trickles down as i hold up the blade.
Slowly releasing it. It falls silently, but ends with a 'twink' on the tilled floor.
My ring finger twitches, but I cannot feel it.
I can barely hear my heart beat.
"Am I dying? Couldn't be... Right?"
I then just realize the pool of blood soaked into my shirt and around my arm on the ground around me.
That was the last thing I saw before I heard a gunshot right outside my door.
I am dead.
So is my family.
I hover over my quite body. Lifeless I know, but I couldn't help the urge to call out my own name to awaken.
Still lifeless as a stone.
Something wet falls from my translucent face.
A tear I wonder.
Then something from my motionless face catches my eye.
It rolls down as it trying not to be seen.
A tear from the dead. What a haunting- yet beautiful sight.
I then fade away.
I am now truly dead.