The Twilight Saga

"Things aren't always what they seem"- that's a good movie line. Well it describes my mom very well. She isn't biologically my mom, but I consider her a mom because she's basically the only one I've ever known. I don't want to find out about my real mom. It doesn't seem fair to her. Lately though tension has started to creep between us. First of all she's more like a really cool big sister than a mom. Second of all she's like a sixteen year old in a thirty four year old's body. While I'm writing this I know no one will read it. Basically because this is a twilight website and everyone only cares about the book (which by the way is awesome) But I needed to get this out into the world without either of my parents reading it. I tried really hard to express my feelings to them but it started another fight, I know they won't last. Maybe not even to the new years. I'm not leaving my dad. He said he's not giving me a choice. Though we both know I have a choice. But both of my younger sisters will have to leave him. I love my dad. He's my King. My hero. And again while I'm writing this I'm crying. I am a strong person. I always have been. My biological mom (aka egg donor) was a druggie, but she left so early I don't remember her.
So here's the deal. My dad is in pain which makes me in pain. He's tired of my mom acting like a kid. She hasn't worked in over a decade. Sometimes its cool to act like a kid. But does it all the time. I guess my dad is just feeling like he's taking care of another kid. My mom has been "sick" for the past two days or so. Then a very good friend down the street invites us to her son's birthday party. He's seven years old. His sister is one of my best friends. My mom is best friends with their mom. And my dad knows and is friends with their dad. So me and my sisters as well as two cousins (because I was babysitting them) go down the street while my mom is in the bathtub.
Half an hour later shes "Stumbling" down there. Dying and so sick. Just to say happy birthday to a seven year old. (you might think that's sweet) But then when she got through the door she laid down in the middle of the living room floor while everyone was there at the party. They had to drag her out of the way because she was on "Medicine" and couldn't get up. Then she goes out to the garage to smoke and her friend the little boy's mom makes her leave. Everyone at the party knew that she just came down there for affection and attention. And most likely because she was also bored.
After all that later that knight she goes out for food and doesn't come back. Then around 2 o clock in the morning some other friends in our neighborhood, K and T (both guys) get in a small wreck as they were on their way to a north Charleston party. They need a ride so they call my mom. She goes. Then just after seven in the morning she walks in the door and heads straight for bed. Guess whats bad enough. She now sleeps in the guest bedroom right beside the front door. She told my dad that we needed a bed in there for my nana who isn't feeling well. As soon as we got it she was in it.
Life can get a whole lot worse I know. But I just needed to rant about this stuff. I would like comments if it wouldn't be too much trouble. I need to know what other people who don't know these people in my stories and their opinions. I feel like everything is my fault but I know everyone will tell me its not.

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Tags: confused, life, lost, sad

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