The darkness is terrifying. I can’t see or hear anything. I don’t remember if I have a mom or a dad. I think I was abandoned. I remember having my 15th birthday. Did I have anyone to share it with? I don’t remember my life at all.
I can’t seem to think clearly. All of these crazy images are coming from nowhere. I’m being slapped and stabbed at. I have several cuts and bruises covering my body. There’s a familiar face. It’s my dad! Is he the one abusing me? He’s laughing about it. He’s with all his friends. Why are they all abusing me? Why are they doing this to me? I thought I was a good girl. My mom is crying about it. Does she even care? I’m not her child. She’s my step-mom. My real mom would have stopped them all by now. I was only 10. Why are they doing this to me?
I remember now. My dad and step-mom are doing this to me. I can’t see anything and I’m scared. I wish I could run but I’m tied down. I have a rope around my neck, and ropes biding my hands and feet together. If I tried to move all of the ropes around me would tighten. I can’t see anything but I can feel the ropes rubbing and chafing my skin. I’m in so much pain right now. I wish that death would bring me peace, but it won’t. I can’t ever die. All death will do is make father seek another target, another person to control.
I don’t think he’s even related to me. I was 2 when I was put up for adoption. Is he my dad? My parents didn’t want me. They didn’t want kids. When I was born all they did was yell. I was so happy. Did my parents do this because they loved me? I wasn’t very lucky. My “dad” has been abusing me since I was 3. I wish I could leave. I can’t leave because I’m blind. I can see sometimes, but it’s very faint. Most of the things I see are very shadow like. If anything I wish I were fully blind. The reason I’m blind is because my “dad” was angry because he missed the first slap he gave me. At first I thought he would leave me alone. He was so mad that he groped for rubber bands and had moms assistants hold my arms. I didn’t know what to do. As soon as he found a sufficient amount of rubber bands he began to shoot at my face and body. He doesn’t understand all of the pain he has inflicted me. It was the most horrible experience ever. I told him that it really hurt. He thought I was lying about the pain. I told him I couldn’t see anything, he once again told me to stop lying. All I could do was cry.
“Dad please stop, your hurting me. Please stop!” I said through tears.
“ Just shut up you little brat!!” He yelled while flinging another rubber band.
I turned to face one of “moms” assistants.
“Please let me go.” I whispered to him. “What have I done to you?”
He faced me and slowly released his grip on me and had the other do the same. We were still pretty young. They were 12 and I had just turned 11. I knew they probably didn’t want to do this. The last memory I had of myself was being blond with brown highlights and hazel eyes. I was considered skinny. I had perfect vision until he did this to me. The only thing that I wished for at the time was to be happy. I know that the only way for that to happen is if I can some how get away. I’m so surprised that I’m still alive. I feel like I’m really dead. There is just to much pain and suffering for me to be alive. Like most people say to live doesn’t mean you alive. I can say that truly that what is my life is.
Most of the time I wish I could go to school, but I’ve never been to school so I wouldn’t know what to expect. I haven’t learned anything but not to scream, yell, cry, show signs of weakness, or any combination of the 5. None of this could happen when “dad” abuses me. This is all I’ve learned since I’ve been blind. That’s why I never want to go to school. I’ve felt the schoolbook before, because “dad” tells our neighbors I’m home schooled when and only when they ask why there kids never see me at school. When they ask a school question “dad” either tells them either “She forgot” or “She hasn’t learned that yet” His excuses are really lame because his lies are so paper thin that anyone could tell that he was lying because my eyes have a blank expression on my face because I’ve given up on trying to be normal because I know I’m not normal. The two things that no neighbor knows are what “dad” does to me and that I’m blind. No one knows and that’s how it’s always going to be.
Suddenly I feel hands on my wrists then the ropes are gone. I should feel relived but that could mean “mom”, “dad”, or an assistant has come to get me or I might just have a rescuer or a new captor or a neighbor “friend”. I really do hope I have a rescuer. I really do. If I have a rescuer I could have a new life. Suddenly I feel a strange presence.
“Who are you and where are you? I can’t see you.” I said as calmly as I could.
“I’m here in front of you. I’m Steve, and I’m right in front of you. I’m your neighbor, don’t you remember?” He said worried.
“Well hello Steve. A news flash for you. I’ m blind because my-my-um dad abused me and still does, but he did this because he was mad. But don’t tell anyone ok? Are you really here to help me?” I said shocked.
“ Yes Anna I’m here to help and I won’t tell anyone either. I swear.” He said as he cut away all of the ropes.
“Well Steve, all I can say is thank you.”
“Oh wow Anna. I can’t believe you thought you had a rescuer. Ha! Wait till your parents find out.” He said as he slapped me.
“No please don’t. I swear I won’t do it again.” I said waiting for the next slap.
“I know Anna. I won’t tell anyone, if you let me kiss you, when it’s my turn to watch you. I’m Josh by the way. Were the same age but I’m new at this.” He said as he approached m. I felt his movements.
“I trust you Josh. I really do, and I accept, but only as long as you swear not to tell.” I said truthfully.
I swear Anna. I won’t ever hurt you unless Mark, Rebecca, or any of the bosses are watching. You understand right?” He asked and told me.
“ I understand Josh, I truly do. I’ve learned from enough past experiences to only allow those I trust into my heart, and I really trust you.” I said honestly.
“I can tell that you mean what you say. I really like you Anna, and I swear I won’t hurt you. I truly mean it.” He said as he came and helped me stand up. He tilted my face up.
“I know Josh. I can tell by the way your talking and how you have helped me.” I said and leaned in to kiss him.
Josh and I kissed lightly for a long time. It was the nicest thing I’ve ever felt in my whole life. I’m so happy I agreed. I think I’m in love with the one and only person who has ever promised me anything. I hope he keeps his promise to me and that no one finds out.
After the kiss, he said, “ Anna, I think I love you.” Then he hugged me.
“I can’t love you, but I do josh. I’m sorry, but we shouldn’t do this. If anyone finds out, you will end up hurt or dead. Your to important to me, to lose you.” I said hugging him.
He rubbed my back while hugging me trying to comfort me and said, “I know Anna, and that’s why we need to run away, and get out of here ASAP.”