The Twilight Saga

When my  husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we  were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the  service  
 department  and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock  
 the  driver side door.  As I watched from the passenger  side,  
 I  instinctively tried the door handle and discovered  that  
 it  was unlocked.  'Hey,' I announced to  
 the  technician,  'it's open!'  His reply: 'I  know.  
I  already got that  side.'
This   was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS  



We  had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us  that

one  of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'

enough  motor on the opener. I thought for a minute,

and  said that we had the largest one Sears made at that  time,

a  1/2 horsepower.  He shook his head and said,  'Lady,

you  need a  1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than  1/4.

He  said, 'NO, it's  not..' Four is larger than  two.'  

                                            We   haven't used Sears repair since.

                                 IDIOT   SIGHTING:
My   daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window  and

I  gave the clerk a $5 bill.  Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her  a quarter.  
She  said, 'You  gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes  I know, but  this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.  She sighed and  went  to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so,  and he handed me  back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could  not do that kind of  thing.'  The clerk then proceeded to give me  back $1 and 75 cents in  change.  
Do   not confuse the clerks at McD's.
I live in a semi rural  area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local  township  administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on  our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out  here! I don't  think  this is a good place for  them to be crossing  anymore.'
From  Kingman , KS

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell  
and ordered a taco. She  asked the person behind
the counter for 'minimal  lettuce.'
He said he was sorry,
but they only had  iceburg lettuce..
--  From Kansas City   

I  was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee   asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'  To  which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'  He smiled  knowingly and nodded,
  'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham  , Ala.  

The  stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.  I  was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She  asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals  blind people when the light  is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on  earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She's  a probation officer in Wichita , KS   

At  a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving  the  company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This  is fun. We  should do this more often.' Not another word was  spoken.  
We  all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights  stare.
This was a lunch at  Texas  Instruments.   

I  work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and   for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn  on.
A deputy with the Dallas County  Sheriff's office, no  less.  


How  would you pronounce this child's  name?  

Leah??                 NO
 Lee -  A??            NOPE
 Lay - a??               NO
 Lei??                    Guess Again.


This  child attends a school in Kansas  City,  Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is  getting her name wrong.


It's  pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the  name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."  
SO, if you see  something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the  dash.


If  dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.


They walk  among  us .... and they VOTE and REPRODUCE

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Tags: dash, funny, idiot, ledasha, random, sightings, stories


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