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*this is your only warning: this story contains a homosexual couple in it therefor any homophobic people out there are not welcome to read it nor are they welcome to have any communication with me as the writer. as for the rest of you- enjoy.*
Chapter 1. Mi Amor
UGH UGH UGH.
I stomped away from the stupid jerk I was having an argument with. She used to be my best friend but when I tell her my sexuality she has to go all bipolar. Yeah, some friend you are, Amy.
I couldn't even make it through the rest of the school day, I just left.
Amy is usually my ride home, but I just walked. I can handle two miles.
I plugged my earphones into my iPod and played the most intense death metal I had on there, which is what I listened to when I was pissed off.
What is so freaking wrong with being a lesbian? It is not like I was going to sleep over at Amy's house and then rape her while she's sleeping, no I'm not like that.
I have no friends.
The realization just hit me. I have never had no friends before. No one to go to if I was having problems.
I told my parents before I told Amy. I heard them talking about it afterward.
"What are we going to do about Sammi? She CAN'T be that way, she just can't!"
That was the first time I had ever heard my father cry.
Well, I guess I can call Becca. Oh wait, she's at school. Duh.
Becca is only bisexual. No one has a problem with her. I don't even know how I started to date her because she is WAY too gorgeous for me.
"Amor!" Someone called from behind me.
I recognized the voice and the nickname. Her calling me this immediately comforted me and I wasn't angry anymore.
Becca ran up to me and half-jumped into my arms. She is a small thing, I never had a problem with this.
I just held her for awhile.
She laughed. "I can't breath, mi Amor."
I smiled and put her down.
She grinned at me. "Why aren't you in school?"
I scowled. "I told Amy."
She took my hand. "I'll walk with you, Amor."
I smiled and started to walk again. "I really don't wanna go home."
"Then don't go home. Let's go somewhere else."
I smiled at her and we went to the park. Our park. No one came here but us.
There were other things that made this our park. How there was 'B+S' carved into one of the trees and also spray painted on the slide.
We had our first kiss by the tree with our initials carved on it.
"Thanks for walking with me, Becca." I said when we got to the door.
I quickly kissed her, then she walked away and I went in the house to be greeted by a very angry mother and father.
Chapter 2. I Don't Know Nor Do I Want To
Well. Amy decided to let the entire school know about my sexuality.
Good reactions? I think not.
A crumbled up paper ball hit my face. I closed my eyes and fought the urge to walk over there and introduce them to my fists.
I wish Becca didn't have to go to that stupid private school.
I opened my eyes and glanced at someone. Someone who I thought I had a crush on when I thought I was straight.
His name is Damon and he was giving me a look that was filled with...sympathy? No. Not him. ANYONE but Damon.
I watched his movements out of the corner of my eye. He said something to his friends, then made his way into my direction.
Oh, dear lord, PLEASE don't by me!
"Hello, Sammi." Said someone who was across from me.
I opened my eyes, and, yup, you guessed it, there was Damon, sitting across from me.
"God, the food here sucks, don't you think?"
I half-way nodded, avoiding eye-contact with him.
"Sammi? Could you look at me?"
I looked up at him.
He looked at me like he felt sorry for me. Yeah, right.
"For what?" I said, in the nicest way I could manage.
"Everything that's happened. No one likes Amy, it has always been that way."
He chuckled. He glanced at the paper ball that was still on the table and picked it up. He opened it up and read whatever it said.
He glanced at me. "I-"
"I don't wanna know."
He nodded and balled up the paper and tossed it on the floor.
Chapter 3. Institutionalized
*this chapter's title was inspired by the song called Institutionalized by the band Suicidal Tendancies*
I felt odd.
All I could remember was going to a party that Damon invited me to and getting more drunk than Kim Kardashian.
Then I remembered riding home with someone I didn't even know, who was also drunk. All the rest was just a blur.
I tried to open my eyes. I was lying down on a...bed? I guess.
I opened my eyes slowly and immediately regretted it.
Standing next to me was my lovely Becca, and how she looked was oh so heart-breaking.
She wasn't wearing any makeup. Her eyes were red from crying and her hair was a mess. I didn't want to go into any further explanation.
Did I cause this misery?
"You're awake, mi Amor." She said, half smiling.
I reached for her hand and she took it willingly.
"You don't remember?" I shook my head. "Well...I invited you to a party,"
"You invited me? I thought Damon did."
She shook her head. "No, it was me." She pulled up a chair and sat next to me, never once letting go of my hand. "Anyway, I invited you to one of my friend's parties. We were having so much fun, mi Amor." She smiled. Her smiled disappeared almost as fast as it appeared. "We all got very, very drunk. And you got a ride home with some boy," A boy? My mind was all mixed up. I had thought it was a girl.
She sniffed. "If I hadn't invited you to that stupid party you wouldn't be in here right now..."
"Shhh." I said, pulling her hand to my face and kissing it. "It's not your fault, Becca."
I shushed her again.
We spent hours just talking about, well, about me and her.
I really felt like I was falling for her.
Chapter 4. Riddles
I didn't know if I was asleep or not.
I must've been, this was not something that could be real.
There was Damon, right there. He was on one side of a meadow, me on the other. I was wearing a white dress and my hair was let loose around my shoulders. I usually always wear it up.
He smiled at me. I smiled back.
He started walking to me, but I stayed put.
This wasn't one of those dreams that you could control everything you were doing. I couldn't control anything, I just stayed put.
Our bodies were practically touching. He was embracing me, too close for me, too lovey-dovey.
He stroked my face, and then he kissed me.
Most of me wanted to get away from him. Wanted to slap him in the face for kissing me.
But the other part of me liked it. And that part was the reason I was kissing him back.
That was when I woke up.
I thought about the dream. That WOULDN'T happen in real life. Never. I would slap him so hard his nuts will fall off.
Or would I? Would I actually kiss him back?
I wonder if it was some message that the dream was trying to send me. Look, Dream, if you're trying to tell me something, then go ahead and tell me. I am so sick of the retarded riddles I was receiving.
I've always hated riddles. They can suck on it.
Then Damon walked in the room. Speak of the devil.
"Hey." He said.
"I...I just wanted to see how you were and how you were feeling."
"Were you at that party?" I finally asked.
"Did you see who drove me home?"
"No, I didn't. It was some girl no one knew."
"Oh ok..." I said. "So what am I missing at school?"
We spent the rest of his visit there talking about schoolwork. Oh joy.
Chapter 5. Guilty
I opened my eyes.
I was panting. My body was covered in sweat. And I was crying.
I got out of the bed slowly. Wait, my bed? When did I get back home from the hospital?
I stretched, then went into the bathroom. I took the longest shower in the history of the world.
I got dressed, then I almost went down stairs.
It's a good thing I paused.
"-can you not have a problem with this? I don't like it, Linda! I do NOT want our daughter to be a homo!"
Rage overcame my body. I fought the urge to punch the wall. Or better yet, my own father.
"I don't like it, either. But we can't just tell her who she is or who she can be..."
My dad slapped her. Hard.
This silenced her.
"I don't give a crap what you say. I am NOT going to let her."
I heard him walk to the stairs and I ran to my room as fast as my feet would carry me.
I sat on my bed and my dad opened the door.
His eyes were full of hatred and disappointment.
He walked towards me. I crawled backwards until I was in the corner of my bed, leaning against the wall.
He grabbed my ankle and yanked me toward him. He pulled my up and slapped me. Again. And again.
He repeated this, then he punched me once on my stomach.
Reflexively, my hands clutched at my stomach and I fell on the bed, breathing heavily.
He left the room, obviously satisfied by his work.
When I got my breath back, I sat up. I pulled up my shirt. My stomach was a mixture of blues and purples.
I kept myself from throwing up.
I got up and walked to the bathroom, clutching a pair of scissors.
The tears were pouring out of my eyes. I have never cried this hard in my life.
I glanced at the scissors and knew what I had to do.
My hair went down to my waist. My parents adored and loved my hair. They liked that at least I kept it long despite my sexuality.
But I wanted that to change.
So. I cut it. I cut my hair so that it was just a bit past my chin. I made my bangs a certain way, being sure I could hide behind them if needed.
It came out choppy and uneven. It was very boyish and it made me look even uglier.
It was perfect.
I put the scissors away (staying out of sight of my parents) and went back into my room.
I got my pocket knife. The sharpest one I could find.
The blade glided across my skin and red liquid flowed out of the cut I had made.
I repeated the action.
After I was done I counted twenty seven cuts on that arm.
Chapter 6. Awoken
*this chapter is dedicated to my friend River who is in a one man band called SurviveTheNight! and it would be much appreciated if you checked out his music: http://www.youtube.com/iritemusic *
My eyes opened in shock. What a dream. It was like an alternate universe or something. Me? A lesbian? How could my own mind come up with such nonsense?
I blinked a few times and got up out of bed. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought about the dream. This was one of the few dreams that I could remember, let alone make me think so much about life and how different everything could be just by one mistake.
I looked away for a moment, then looked again into the mirror. I grimaced at my image and looked away again.
I didn't want to go to school. Not today. The dream had made my mind enter a completely different world and I wasn't sure if I wanted to come back to reality.
So I climbed back in bed and prayed I wouldn't wake up again.
Chapter 7. Jumbo
The parents of Samantha Marie Florence stood over her. Her mother, Helen, with tears in her eyes. Her father, Robert, staring with no emotion in his face.
Helen clung to her husband and buried her face into his shoulder to let out her tears. They're daughter stood before them in her sleep. Except she had been sleeping for a full twenty-four hours, and would not wake up no matter what they tried.
Sometimes Sammi would beg. Beg for something to leave her alone, something that was overtaking her and not letting her go.
Paramedics said that there was nothing they could do and they didn't want to take up hospital space for a sleeping girl.
So she stayed home in her own bed.
Helen left her husband's shoulder and turned to a phonebook. She put the numbers into her cell phone and waited for Jumba to pick up.
Jumba arrived half an hour later.
"Take me to Samantha." She commanded Helen. Helen nodded and guided Jumba to Sammi's room.
Jumba got stiff as she entered the room. "I can feel him already."
"Him? Who is him?" Commanded Robert, who was always protective of his daughter.
"The demon. All he is is one that is playing mind tricks on your daughter." Jumba kneeled next to Sammi and placed her hands on Sammi's stomach, closing her eyes. "Oh." She said. She stood and looked at the parents. "Do you remember the boy that committed suicide here? Timothy?" When they said yes, she continued. "I was only able to pick up small pieces, but I will tell you.
"Timothy committed suicide because of Sammi, apparently. I don't know the real reason but it was because of her. He wanted revenge… and now he is making her see things. Dreams that she thinks are real and they are tormenting her being."
"Is there anything you can do about it?" Robert said.
"I can brew up something. But it takes time. About two months, then of course we have to get her to drink it and she should be fine, I suppose."
Ignoring their protests, Jumba let herself out of the house.
*thank you to Moderator Joanna for editting out the vulgarity i mistakingly missed instead of deleting in entirely*
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