Imitate a golden retriever whenever he walks past you.
Tell him that Bella told you that given the choice between him and a vampire, she would pick the vampire. Get Edward to back you up.
Tell him that you know some of his distant cousins. When he asks to know which ones, show him. Bring in your pet retriever.
Take him to the mall in the real world. Let him be beat up by Twilight fans. Ditch him after about an hour.
Say do you still have the flash cards from the speech on Edward's hotness? Time to use them again…
Constantly compare him to Edward. Tell him that it was a wonder that any girl liked him with Cullen around… Watch the fun.
Tell Jessica that Mike personally told you that he thinks Bella is sexy and that he was only going out with her to make Bella jealous. Tell her that on a scale of 1-10 Mike rated her a five while Bella got a ten. Causally mention that the pair is getting married next week and ask if she was invited. Make sure Mike is standing with in slapping range when you say that last part… It is advised that you bring popcorn.
Knock on his door at 2:00 in the morning. The second he opens it start singing opera. Don't stop.
Pay Bella and Edward to make-out in front of him.
Tell him Jacob Black is in love with him. Scream this in the halls of Forks Highschool.