I can't tell you how happy those next couple of hours where for me, back with Edward, in his arms. I was giddy with joy and pleasure, and I was breathlessly happy. Edward completed me, we fit back together just like prom had only been a night ago, not years ago. I laughed, something I hadn't genuinely done in what felt like forever, but it was hard not to with Edward's incredible hands tickling me...."stop, stop, stop!" I squeeled, and Edward ended the play fight with a cold kiss on the cheek. There was something about that kiss that snapped me back to reality, it was like someone else's delicate, cold kiss....Cathy!
Oh my god I thought, I'm the worst mom ever...enjoying all this time with Edward, Cathy was still at school!
'Edward' I snapped 'what time is it?!'
He looked truly bewildered.
"It's almost three, Bella, what is it?...Is it, Jake?"
I didn't know that he even knew about m eand Jake, what did he know I wondered, but there wasn't time for that now Cathy would be out of school any minute now.
"Um, no it's not him" I said suddenly feeling shy, which was ridiculous considering I was stood there barely dressed in front of him. How was I going to explain Cathy to him?
"Wait here" I instructed, "you'll see what it is"
"Wait, Bella" Edward's eyes were confused, but I didn't have time I had to pick up Cathy.
"I'll be back in five" I said pulling on a jumper and darting out of the door.
Cathy was stood patiently waiting for me at the school gates, I loved her so much, I felt so guilty for being late, for completely forgetting her for those few hours while Edward filled my mind. Cathy didn't seem to mind my lateness, she was a good girl and I loved her all the more for her patience and good temper. How can a six year old be so understanding I thought? Still, she always was extra special.
Though i tried to act normal, I couldn't hide my happy glow from Cathy...she was so perceptive.
"I like that your happy momma" she said.
"you make me happy sweet heart" I replied and we skipped home.
When we got back, I couldn't see Edward but I knew he was still there, he wouldn't leave me now would he? Not without giving me a chance to explain. My body could just sense he was still nearby. For about the 100th time that day, I thanked heaven that Jake was working out of town this week. If could sense Edward, what would jake be able to sense!? I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and prepared cathy's dinner, we talked, and cuddled up to watch TV until it was her bedtime. Edward stayed hidden all this time, and I was kind of glad and I didn't know what I'd say to either of them...plus I treasured my alone time with little cathy, she was my little angel. I kissed her forehead as she lay in bed and turned out her night light, "sleep well" I whispered.
I then didn't know what to do with myself...knowing Edward was nearby somewhere made me anxious...I wanted him now. I headed to the bedroom to contemplate in the quiet. I didn't have to wait long for Edward to appear...I let him in through the window and he immediately took me into his arms, holding me there for a long time, saying nothing. Then he looked me in the eyes and I knew I had to talk. Before I could open my lips to speak the tears began to roll down my cheeks, I sobbed quietly...I felt like the worst person in the world, married to Jake, cheating on Jake, that was what I had done earlier that afternoon.
"Ssshh" Edward said taking my face his hands..."Bella it's ok"
"Oh Edward, I feel awful, I'm a terrible person" I said through the sobs.
"I know that's not true" he said firmly..."please Bella, tell me everything". There was an urgency to his voice, and I knew what he was urgent about...Cathy, had he sensed she was his?
I told him everything, from how often I thought about prom night...to how I had felt so alone after he left me years ago and how jake had just sort of, stepped into my life. I explained that Cathy needed a father, I was married to Jake before I knew it. I was ashamed, but I told him about how jake treated me. I told him that Cathy was special and different, like him...and that I didn't think jake loved her. It all came pouring out, the hurt and lonliness, the pain I'd locked away and surpessed for Cathy's sake all flowed out. I was relieved to say it all, relieved to let some of the pain I'd kept out...I just didn't know how Edward felt. I began to feel uncertain, this was I mess...I wasn't 18 any more...I was 24, probably even more plain than I was back at high school....Edward was still a sunning, almost-eighteen-year-old. Would he want me and Cathy? Would he accept it all...did he reget coming here? Had he only come for a flying re-union and not to find out he had a daughter.
I looked up at him for some clue of what he was thinking, his exsqusite face was a mask of calm and beauty. I was feeling faint again, I hadn't let this more pure emotion out in years and it seemed it had drained me. Edward guided me down to the bed and I lay down, head on his lap. He stroked my hair and gentley caressed my cheek.
"Do you understand what I am saying...about...Cathy?" I managed to utter.
"Yes" he said solumnly.
That didn't sound good, but if he didn't want us I would have to accept it, I'd already had the best afternoon of my life, I couldn't be greedy and wish for more.
After a long pause Edward began to speak.
"Bella, I can't tell you how sorry I am"..."I'm sorry I never came back sooner, sorry for everything"
"I always wanted to come back, I never forgot you. Something was always pulling me back to you, I had always assumed it was just how much I loved you, wanted you, desired you...that it was just my selfish want to have you that was pulling me back...I never knew that it was something more, that it was...Cathy."
I heard you had married Jake, Alice saw it. I was glad, in a way, I wanted to you to be happy, have a normal existence. I was pleased you had forgottern me...I didn't know how it really was."
"Oh bella" he continued..."I should have found out for myself, what the truth was...I should have checked up on you, if I'd only known he was treated you that way, I should have protected you...I am so angry and ashamed of myself." He looked so torn, his beautiful mask now creased with emotion.
"And Cathy, if I'd only known...I didn't know I could...that it was possible to, well make you pregnant."
"Edward stop" I cut in, "It's not your fault...you didn't know"
"I should have known" he said angrily. "I can't forgive myself for what you've been though these past years, Bella I can't"
His body was rigid....hard, cold and stiff with seriousness. This wasn't his fault, I didn't want him to feel bad about my pathetic situation. I sat up and looked into his tortured eyes, it was up to me know. I clasped my hands around his face, drawing myself as close in as I could to his body and with all the confidence I could muster...kissed him hard on the mouth. I was older and techniquely more experienced...I should be able to do this, to take his mind off the grief he was swimming in. I thrust my body into his, pressing myself against is chest as hard as I could. Slowly I felt his arms react...wrapping themselves around me, his lips started to react too, kissing me back, reservedly at first but gradually growing more and more passionate. It was working, we were soon intertwined on the bed, and I doubted Edward was thinking of anything else but the loving embrace we were wrapped in, soon I couldn't think of anything else but taking his shirt off for the second time that day. Kissing like we were making up for all the lost years gone by, Edward suddenly pulled away, I was panting with the heat of the moment, what was wrong? I thought...
"I love you" he whispered and before I could reply his lips where on mine again.