I stared at him, speechless. I should i respond? how could i respond? Carlisle wanted me to become a vampire in less than i week! This would mean never being able to see Charlie, Renee, my high school friends or my werewolf friends ever again. Never see Jacob again.
I didnt know much about the first few yrs of immortal life but between what edward and his family had said and Victoria's army which we'd faced a few days ago ,it wasnt pretty. I would never be able to see my human friends again, it would be too dangerous for them.
"Carlisle wants me to become like you, in less than a week?"
Edward nodded, pain in his golden eyes.
I knew the consequences, I would become a bloodthirsty monster for the next several years. I shuddered.
We stood in silence for a rather long time.
"you dont have to make a decision tonite, but you will within the next few days."
Edward was trying to calm me down, but it didnt help.
My heart was racing.
"I better get you home, I wouldnt want Charlie to wake up and worry."
I was exhausted, and had too much on my mind to protest.
We stepeed outside into the chilling air, walking in silence toward the gleameing silver Volvo parking in front of the Cullens' house.
the ride to Charlie's house went slowly, normally the drive from his house to mine seemed short, but since we were driving in silence, it dragged on forever. By the time we got to Charlie's house, it was 3:00 am.
I lied down, but there was too much on my mind for me to be able to sleep.
I tossed and turned until 530, when i couldnt stand it any longer and decided to go down to La Push, i did my best thinking there.
I left a note for charlie, who was snoring so loud in his bedroom that Im surprised people in China hadnt called the police, much less our next door neighbors.
gone to La push for the day. be back sometime this afternoon.
I sat pn the familiar tree stump Jake and I had had so many conversations on before.
I though about everything that had happened recently, Victorias newborn army, the Volturi, me choosing between Edward and Jacob (and choosing jacob) the Volturi, me maybe becoming a vampire, the volturi..
Maybe I should, then the Volturi couldnt hurt the people I loved who tried to defend me.
But I dont know what I would do without Jake.
But, I wouldnt be able to survive if something happened to any of the wolves or the cullens, it would be my fault if any of them got hurt.
However the werewolves were confident they could take the Volturi down.
It never gets easier, does it?