I looked at him. Everything disappeared around me. "Janaila ?" You whisper in Awe. The ache is gone. I feel lightheaded. You walk forward almost to see if i'm real but i step back. Someone calls your name. I look to see her. She is still as beautiful as she was the day in kitchen. She looks at me with the same expression you had. Awe and unbelief. I only see that because the next thing i know i'm running. I'm running hard. Air not being breathed. Everything blurry. I open door. My legs burn in protest. I bang on the door. He opens the door taking in my state. He pulls me into his arms. He knows no questions asked. He whispers in my ear everything is going to be alright. But my heart is on fire. I can't breathe. I can't speak. He lays us down on the bed. I close my eyes not being able to look at him. I can feel his pain. The pain of him not being enough. He brushes the hair out of my face pressing light kisses to my forehead. I remember the brush of his lips as i fall into a sea of darkness. I hear him murmur I love you. But in the morning i'll pretend i didn't. We won't talk about tonight and he'll take me to get my favorite icecream. He'll make me laugh and forget about you. He'll look at me with love and adoration. He hold my hand being content with just that knowing i can't love him like i love you. But he'll still be here time after time. He loves me the broken me. He see's past the walls. If i had never met you i would be utterly in love with him. But i can't love this beautiful man. I can't because my heart is burnt all dark and ashy. The only way to bring it back to life is with your breathe. But i can't breathe your life. He's asleep. I look at him. His skin is glowing in the moonlight. Pale and beautiful. His lips slightly open. I trace the lines on his face like i used to do to your's. I sit up holding my breathe. I watch his non-moving face as press my lips slowly to his. His eyes flutter open. He pushes away shocked. "Janaila, ?" He says confusion written all over his face. "Don't say anything sometimes silence is the best answer." I say in a whisper. I press my lips to his again. My heart rips but patches. It's painful but amazing all in one. He brings as close as can be. We both pull away breatheless. "I love you Chance." I whisper. A searing pain rips through my chest leaving me breatheless but i don't take my eyes off of Chance. He looks at me looking for the lie behind my words but he doesnt find any. I don't love him as much as i love you but i love him. I'll give him whatever i can. He deserves this. He pulls me close hugging me where i can barely breathe. Tears fall softly down my cheeks. There tears of joy , pain and fear.
Years pass 10 to be correct. Our ten year reunion is coming up. I'm 27 now. I'm different but the same. I look at the greenry as it passed me by. My stomach curls and releases. Chance keeps glancing at me. I can't look him in the eyes because i don't want him to see how nervous i am. I don't even know if i'm going to see you but the thought makes me want to vomit. I heard you married her. I look at the ring on my finger. It glistens its a small diamond like Britina's. It's beautiful with a simple gold band. Not really me but i remember how excited Chance was when he proposed to me. I remember feeling the tearing in my heart that it wasnt you in front of me. But then i felt the tinge of love i had for Chance. My tears were of sadness but i made Chance they were happiness. I said a quiet yes. He picked me up and swun me around. His arms were warm wrapped around me. But they werent right. We pull up to the resort. I see people i haven't talked to in a decade. Some look the same some look different. I took a deep breathe before stepping out of the car. I looked down at my outfit. I had on a white sweater dress with baby blue tights. My boots were a light blue jean material. I had a bright mint green scarf. My makeup was simple gold with a touch a blue. My lips clear. My hair which is now a deep red wine red is braided into two french braids which meet into a bun. I play with ring on my finger. Chance takes my hand leading me into the resort. We reach the front desk. "Janaila ?" A soft voice says with obvious surprise. I look at Emily. She aged well. Her scar looks exactly the same. She is still a soft beauty. She gives me a small but warm smile. "It's been a long time." She says staring at me. "It has." I say. She looks to my right where Chance is looking at me. "This is my Fiance Chance." I say looking at Chance. She looks down at my hand and seeing my engagement ring for the first time. "Congratualations." She says in a small pained voice. She checks us in quickly. She looks at me with a pained eyes and a small smile. "Enjoy your stay." She says in a small voice. "Thank you." I say taking the care. As we walk away i feel Emily's eyes piercing into my back. My heart is ripping piece by piece. Chance's hand wraps around mine. It should help relax me but it only makes me more tense. I hate myself. But i want him more than ever in my life. We get to our room there's a schedule posted on our door. I see that we have about 15 minutes before the first gathering. We sit our bags down. I walk into the bathroom. I looked at myself. I had lost some of my youthfulness but i still looked young. "You look amazing." Chance whispers to me wrapping his arms around my waist. "Thank you." I say in a whisper. I close my eyes reveling in Chance's warmth. "I love you." Chance whispers. My stomach flips. "I love you too." I say barely in a whisper. I open my eyes to see Chance watching me. He is starting to see just the cracks not being able to see past the pain any longer. He's clinging i can see that he is ready to fall though hoping i'll catch him. "We should get going." I say breaking the silence. I work my way out of his grip. We walk down the hallway in silence. I hear laughter that i would be able to reconize anywhere. My heart squeezes and my stomach flips. "Janaila ?" The laughter stops and is filled with dead silence. Renesmee looks at me with shock and happiness. She pulls me into her arms. She is crying which in turn makes me cry. I see Jacob. He gives me a small head nod. She pulls away and looks behind me. I turn to see Chance staring at us. "This is my fiance Chance." "Chance this is my old friend Renesmee." I say quietly. He smiles but i can see the uncomfort in his eyes. Jacob walks behind Ness wrapping his arms around her. I see his wedding band. I smile but my heart tugs at everything i probably missed out on. "So i call you Mrs. Black now ?" I say with a huge smile. Renesmee looks down her wedding rings. "Duh , you know as soon as i turned eighteen we tied the knot." Renesmee said with a huge smile. I laughed shaking my head. "What brings you here ?" Renesmee asks me after we calm down. "Our 10 year class reunion." I say squeezing Chance's cool hand. Renesmee nods. "We'll your be able to see everyone there all here were having you could say a family reunion." Renesmee says excitement evident in her voice. "We'll try to stop by." I say with as much enthusiam i can muster. Renesmee nods. "So when is the big day ?" She asks looking down at my engagement. "We don't have one yet." I say. "We'll when the shin-dig happens i better get an invitation missy." Renesmee says in a playful tone but i can see the seriousness in her eyes. "I won't forget about you." I say squeezing her hand. "We better get to the event were late." Chance says in a cool tone. I nod. I hug Renesmee. "He's going to be here this weekend." She whispers to me. She pulls away and gives me another beautiful smile before walking away. Chance lets go of my hand and we walk in silence until we hear murmurs coming from the room. We walk in and everyone looks at us. I put on my best smile i turn to Chance. His smile matching mine. This is what weve become. The people who look the most in love but are the most broken inside.
An - Okay so this was a long one. What do you think ?
Songs i wrote too -
Beyonce - disappear
Beyonce - heartbeat
Daughter - Candles
Please dont steal my character . And no i dont own Twilight.