I looked at Edward, sat gracefully on the edge of the bed, so perfect, I wanted everything about him, but I knew I had to control myself. Being here, alone with me wasn’t easy for him, or at least the for the vampire in him.
“What are you thinking” he asked, I realised I hadn’t taken my eyes off him all this time.
“You” I replied honestly… “I can’t believe you’re really here, in my room…and alone” I trailed off, not wanting to gush further.
He smiled mischievously back at me and edged closer.
“This isn’t part of you’re attack is it? The vampire lure?” I joked, nervously, suddenly embarrassed of the research I’d done.
I felt a nervous surge inside me as he raised his cold hand,
“Maybe” he said brushing my hair behind my ear with one hand, I shivered. He kept his hand to my face, his eyes were still and intense, apparently fixated with my face, I tried not to move, not wanting to break the moment.
He laughed, “Bella, you’re so perfectly human”, I didn’t know quite what to make of the comment, but before I could begin to compose I reply his lips were at my ear, kissing a sensitive spot beneath it and moving across my face. When his lips meant mine I couldn’t control myself, gently falling back on to the bed as leaned over me with one hand still in my hair, I wrapped my arms tightly around him, pulling him closer. I couldn't believe this was happening, my hands were under his shirt, stroking his cool marble back. He let out a low growl, and stopped to look at me.
“What, too much?” I asked, breathless. He inhaled deeply and his eyes shining,
“No, I think I can handle it… I just wanted to look you a second, to remind myself”.
My arms had fallen loosely by my sides, he ran his hands over them, pinning my wrists to the bed, before leaning in to kiss me on the mouth again. My arms tingled from the cold touch, everywhere tingled.
I wasn’t sure how far he would go, how far he would let this go before pulled away, I tried to keep still, to prolong the time we could spend like this. It wasn’t easy, though his lips were locked to mine, I wanted my whole body to be interlocked with his. I tried to let his lips be enough, and they were, more than enough, but I was so curious. I struggled, knowing I’d never win, trying to push my body closer to his above me.
He misinterpreted this and instantly stopped, loosening his ice grip around my wrists.
“Sorry” he breathed, “I didn’t mean to hurt you”.
“No, it’s okay, you haven’t at all”. He looked unconvinced,
“Please don’t stop” I urged, hoping I sounded tempting enough for him to carry on from where he had abruptly left off.
He still looked confused, but he smiled, eyeing me up and down, almost too fast for me to notice. He placed a long lingering kiss on my cheek, victory I thought, a kiss and my hands were free…
I would start slowly. I placed one hand on his neck and started to run my fingers through his hair.
His kiss on my cheek moved south to neck, making me shudder with delight. I couldn’t believe he was letting this go on so long, his self control was always perfect, was he in control now? Maybe I would get my way after all.
My excitement grew, as his kisses continued south to the opening of my blouse. I felt as though my heart would beat right through my chest and escape, it was so intense. My slow approach had subconsciously been abandoned, I had a hand under his shirt again and had twisted my legs around his. I thrust my whole body upwards, towards him, hoping I hadn’t pushed my luck and that his self-control wouldn’t suddenly kick in like it had before.
His lips paused, centimetres above my skin, he laughed, blowing his cold, sweet breath all over me,
“Always trying to tempt me Bella”
I sighed, was it over already?
“Sorry” I lied.
“It’s hard for me too you know” I added honestly.
He rolled his eyes in exaggerated frustration.
“Would you like me to tempt you some more” I offered reaching for my blouse button.
His hand was there, covering the button before I could complete my intended action.
“Bella” he groaned. I knew I wasn’t being fair, but a part of me just couldn’t help myself. The cold of his hands at the opening of my blouse was like an electric current, sending volts to different parts of my body. I wondered why didn’t move his hand, not that I wanted him too, it occurred to me that he probably didn’t want to move his hand away either, but that his self control was working over-time.
“Go on” I teased, he looked tortured and I instantly felt guilty.
“I’m sorry,” I said, more genuinely this time.
“You know how much I want you too”.
He continued to look pained and undecided; I sensed that the heat of the moment was over, but also that there was a weakness to his voice. Maybe someday…soon I hoped. I wouldn’t pressure him further tonight, if I could help it.
I thought of how ridiculous the situation seemed, me the 17-year-old girl, a virgin, putting the pressure on him, a completely gorgeous, god-like vampire who could probably have his way with any girl he wanted.
Thinking that Edward could have any girl he wanted and yet, he chose to be with me made my heart race and my palms tingle…and there I was, wanting more again, dam this was so hard.
We were lying side by side now, I guess Edward had been trying to calm himself down, just as I had, but it was impossible not to face him and I turned to snuggle into him.
He stroked my cheek, with a delicate icicle finger,
“I love you” he smiled.
“And I love you” it still felt amazing to say the words.
“I wish we could…” he began,
“Me too” I interrupted.
“You don’t actually know what I was going to say,” he pointed out,
“I know what I was hoping we could…” I trialled off as he had.
As though saying the word out loud would mean he’d really have to address the issue and formally deny me what I wanted. Sex, to make love, to give every part of my body to you I thought, that’s what I want, and I was glad once again, that he couldn’t read my thoughts.