YA Kills

(There was a blog post, which I have the link to at the bottom, that mocked the article in the Wall Street Journal.( You know that article that said YA novels were dark). Well, I believe that blog post triggered people to tweet YA kills. It was very funny & I am sharing my favorites. Hope you guys like them.) 

I climbed in the window to watch my soul mate sleep. I got pepper-sprayed and a restraining order. #YAkills

Maybe pretending that the abandoned refrigerator in the woods is a magical wardrobe is a bad idea, after all. #yakills

 I learned its okay to have a creepy guy watch me sleep. #YAkills

My boyfriend told me I’d have to kill him in order to free him from his werewolf curse. Now serving a life sentence. #YAkills

Signed up for Hunger Games thinking it was like a drinking game, but with Doritos. Should’ve read past page 10. #YAkills

When I read YA dystopias, I take notes so I know how to suppress people when I rule the world. #YAkills

Tried to put an Indian in the cupboard. Was arrested for kidnapping and eviscerated for using politically incorrect terms. #YAkills

Convinced my vampire boyfriend to come on a picnic with me, so we could lie in a meadow and watch him sparkle. Now he’s ashes … #YAkills

I went to Paris to meet my soul mate, but was chased down the street by a mime. #yakills

I wanted to start a relationship with a fallen angel, but I’m allergic to feathers. #yakills

 
Chanted “Down with the Capitol” on the steps of Congress. Homeland Security not amused. #YAkills

I tried to enter The Hunger Games and was killed twelve seconds in. I didn’t even get to use my Taser. #YAkills

Turned 16. Was so pretty I couldn’t stand it. Began tattooing & surgical operations immediately. I blame you, @ScottWesterfeld . #YAkills

I can’t find a pair of jeans that fits all my friends. I’m so depressed. #YAKills

Could somebody help me? I read this stupid YA fantasy and now I’m stuck in a wardrobe. #YAkills

I saw a horse drowning in a lake in the park the other day so I dived in to save it. Too bad it was a Kelpie. #yakills

I’m off to play chicken on the highway so I can hear my ex-boyfriend’s voice in my head telling me it’s a bad idea. #YAkills

Wait, a boy disabling my car so I can’t go see my friends isn’t a sign that he loves me? #YAkills

I didn’t realize it was a *secret* garden. I had a key, so I threw a keg party. Now my uncle’s really going to kill me. #YAkills

After reading Graceling, I tried fighting 100 armed men at once. It didn’t go so well. #YAkills

I read A Wrinkle in Time and gave myself an aneurysm trying to tesseract. #YAkills

Per Anne of Green Gables, I insisted on being left at train station so an old man would give me a ride home. Didn’t work out as planned. #YAkills

Read Tithe. Now the fairies want to sacrifice me because I know too much. #YAkills

My fantasy boyfriend left me, so I jumped off a cliff to see if he would come back to rescue me in time. No one came. :’( Boo hoo, #YAKills

Mixing up the rules for the Fight Club with The Baby Sitter’s Club…never a good thing. #YAKills

I assumed my husband was immortal because he always has such brooding looks. Guess I was wrong. #YAkills

I read the Boxcar Children and so I am abandoning everything to ride the rails. #YAkills

My hardcover of Breaking Dawn fell off the bookshelf and hit my husband. #YAKills

Dad sent me to England because he didn’t want to deal with my illness. I slept with my cousin to cope. This started a global war. #yakills

After reading Hunger Games I went hunting for poison berries - I ate them just to see if #YAKills

After reading @ellenhopkinsya’s novel TRICKS, I have moved to Vegas and am now a part-time student, full-time prostitute. #YAkills

Hey kids, if you take drugs and crash on random benches in a strange town, you could get a whole new FAMILY who’ll really love you. #YAkills

If you read SHIVER, then go find and kiss a wild wolf at midnight, you will get a totally awesome boyfriend. (Also cool scars!) #YAkills

I took THE CHOCOLATE WAR too literally… and forgot to read the book… #yakills

I wasn’t first in the class, so I stabbed him in the eye with a fork. #YAKills

I bought a taser and named it Tasey, then I went demon hunting. How was I supposed to know it was just an emo kid? #yakills

The Goddess Test made me try to jump headfirst into a river so I could meet Henry aka Hades, because he’s sexy. #YAKills

Oops, tore down that bridge across the brook in the backyard and now these kids are screaming they’re stuck in Terebithia. #YAKills

Read The Demon’s Lexicon and decided I wanted to dance at The Goblin Market instead of going to college. Now I’m possessed. #YAkills

I want to know the people in my life really want to be here with me so I put them all in comas to see “if they’ll stay.” #YAkills

I had this major crush on a guy who did everything he could to annoy the crap out of me. So I chopped off his hand. HEA. #YAKills

I used a Killing Curse on my teacher…it worked :D Turns out I’m a wizard! #YAkills

I locked the neighbor’s kids in the wardrobe as a favor. They wanted to go to Narnia. They’re warping the door trying to get out. #YAKills

I assumed HUNGER GAMES was a how-to book. Rounded up the annoying neighborhood kids and gave them weapons. It’s going well. #YAkills

I once fell off a ladder trying to reach City of Bones. #YAkills

You honestly think it’s a coincidence several black holes were born the day DIVERGENT made the NYT Bestseller List? #YAkills

There was a kid who ate pop rocks while drinking Coke, then he exploded. It was because he was also reading THE HUNGER GAMES. #YAkills

I heard that if you read TWILIGHT three times in front of a mirror, Robert Pattinson will appear and murder you. #YAkills

I fell in love with the half summer faery princess. She fell in love w/ my enemy. I challenged him to a duel   killed me #YAkills

I thought I could take my cat to the Unseelie court, boy was I wrong #YAkills.

I owe Grimalkin a favor. #YAkills

Asked Puck for help in love matters, got turned into a donkey #yakills

Asked Ash why he doesn’t sparkle in the sun. Puck laughed so hard Ash stabbed him. Twice. #yakills

Tried to kiss Ash prince of winter. Missed kissed a pole in the winter realm. Waiting for EMT services. #YAkills

My vampire boyfriend pulled a tree from the ground to impress me, then lost his grip and it swung into my head. #YAkills

I followed this cat into my little brother’s closet and got eaten by goblins. #YAkills

Went into Faerie to try and rescue my little brother, but now my two fey suitors are trying to kill each-other. *sigh* #YAkills

Tried to follow beautiful mermaid under the water but was bitten by a shark. #yakills

Made a deal with a Winter Prince to follow him into my enemy’s court. It sounded like a good idea at the time…#YAkills

I went to go bargain with the kelpie, but accidentally fell into the river. #YAKills

Tried to pull Grimalkin’s tale. That was a mistake. #yakills

Studies show that the leading killer among teenage girls is Faery Fatigue. They chase after hot Fae boys until they drop dead. #yakills

Decided to become the cover girl for a revolution. They brainwashed my boyfriend and he choked me to death. #yakills

Going on a road trip with a hot stranger to find my missing sister didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. #yakills

Asked Jace if I could touch his mango, got punched by Clary #yakills

Tried to make my own polyjuice potion in chem lab. How come Harry never had *his* stomach pumped? #YAkills

(Source: sarahockler.com)